SQUEEZE ME IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

im back. no exclaimation mark no nothing.. just dun really want this to be a big affair cos tons of ppl spotted my highly angsty posts back then and one by one they kept coming and coming. but still i will not be politically correct like some ppl may want me to be and i will keep swearing if you dun mind. cos its just me. dun like then you can navigate yourself away. its the 21st century dudes!

but still, im happy to be back. its been so long and i figured its about time i get my poems back on track before i completely lose touch and some updating as well of course. ok i wont go really far back but i guess i will start from 'A's. i dun think i put in as much effort for Os as i did for As, dun knoe why.. maybe cos im a changed person. i used to really think that results were the world but coming to jc changed my perspective big time. polo started to take precidence over everything, and then friends and teamates and then family and relatives.. but somehow it never came to studies. maybe because too many things have happened over the past 2 years and now when its really coming to an end, i start to realise why things have turned out the way they are now. family happenings like financial problems plagued and soon the death of my grandfather came. screwing up J1 and getting EEEE for promos left me virtually scholarship-less. losing the nationals back then didnt do me much good either cos it meant another year of silverssss and another year of crying. but still i dun regret getting that cos the friendship and camaraderie was so strong ,everything else just didnt matter. then it came to j2, where family problems worsened and preparation for As had to start. i took over the team and a whole new team unity and spirt had to be forged and needless to say the pressure began to build up. polo was everything for the first few months cos i really didnt want 4th silver to end off my polo season. and so studies werent that great either but we FINALLY won nationals. the feeling was just unforgettable and that took me to one of the highest peaks in my polo life. and to be able to end off school polo at the highest note was always a dream i never thought could be fulfilled but we overcame odds and did it.

reality soon seeped in and the imminent As loomed over as i turned mugger again. tried as best as i could to really mug and mug but it was very hard. somehow i din think i was always focused cos my mind just seemed to drift off to space uncontrollably. maybe because i really hated the subjects or maybe i was just not ready. but still i went for the exams and in a flash everything was over. dun really want to bore you with the exam details like some other ppl cos it really isnt your problem but still i dun reckon i did well. hopefully things will still turn out fine when feb comes around. and so now im back to training and like what miss lim said, going back to school training just make sure that everything is alright with the team before i go off to NS. but still ns is really a long way from now cos im enlisting in april so i really have lots of time. mum has been nagging like mad for me to get a job but im not really in a mood now. maybe next year la. but then yet again, next year is like 9 days from now? haha. wadeva.

been bumming around for too long and teacher tell me to quickly settle down and decide on which course and scholarship to apply in uni. have actually decided to try out medicine as first choice and do my bacholors in neuroscience if i dun get in. 3rd choice will be econs.. haha.. especially when i hate the sub so much ya? but too bad, it brings in the moolah so i dun give a shit. my goal in life is to make enough money to be able to stay with my family and parents confortably so if im able to do science in jc for 2 years without liking it, im sure i will be able to last a few more years.

and of course not to forget. there was prom. im really too lazy to upload the photos so lets just put it as a glamourous affair shall we? haha. sorry la i really damn lazy la.

okok.. i must put in my poem now or else cannot hand up to eddie's desk . haha. hope she's feeling better now after that long chat we had.. and hopefully the poem is therapeutic.. like she said. so here's the poem and i dedicate this to eddie.

Thorns

if i gave you a rose would you take my hand?
bite it for the thorns or love it for the scent?
if i gave you my hand would you grasp it so tight?
or turn away, take off and ditch me in flight?

i told you once i'd promise i'd swear,
wherever you go i'll follow you there.
i never knew words meant so much to you
i thought if broken your heart could be glued.

my mummy did tell me to stand true to my word,
be frank, be honest, be truthfu,l be courte'.
but if love and friendship were made to endure,
would one little white lie really really hurt?

when mummy did leave me for a land far far away,
she told me she was going for a holiday at the bay.
i totally believed her, took every word to heart.
only to realise she lied from the start.

so now im doing unto what was done to me
for now words were never as heavy as they used to be.
who would have known you would take grudges so hard and strong
one that would shatter the love in a song.

Regret as i may of my ill-striken fate,
no key would ever open the locks to your gate.
she was my one true love, my friend, my soulmate,
but like she said, it was just too late.

i told myself that it was about time
to ditch the diction , the sins of lies.
so guys out there you'd better listen hard
girls take lies like thorns in their hearts.

hope you like it though. haha. ok.. i havent bathed yet. shit .. 1 am alr. okok.. i better get going.
yeah.. im so happy i completed the poem the way i wanted it too.. cya guys soon!